Category Archives: Be- Briefly

Be, Briefly –

Every time I pay with my debit card at the Grocery store and the swipey thing asks me, “is this amount ok?”, I have to fight an almost overwhelming urge to shout “HELL NO, IT’S NOT OK- IT’S OUTRAGOUS!”

Seriously – ask a stupid question….

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Be, Briefly – is there a frequent visitor program?

Junior’s Pediatrican should have a frequent visitor program.  Something where you can accumulate points, like when you fly; or perhaps a punch card so you can get every 10th ear inspection free or something.

Or maybe they could do a VIP lane down by where they give the flu shots this time of year, where I could just roll up and give them my rewards card and they could peek in his ears to see if it is just more teething woe or something nasty sprouting in his tiny inner ears.

Then on the way out they can just take all the cash I have in my purse, punch my card, and politely tell us that they will see us soon as we head for the elevator.

Sigh.  Poor kid.

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Be, Briefly – an observation/PSA

As those who already have kiddos have doubtlessly discovered,  saying “Mommy’s almost finished!” anywhere near your calm, sweet child during any activity you might be trying to complete is actually NOT a statement, but instead some sort of incantation/code word that makes kids instantly start screaming bloody murder.

Heed my warning, moms-to-be.  Speak not the words.

(For instance, you are say, getting ready in the morning, and you look down at your sweetie little Junior in the exersaucer just outside the bathroom door.  He smiles up at you, you smile back and say, “Mommy is almost finished, Junior, YAY!” and turn to apply mascara.  A sudden, eardrum shattering shriek erupts, causing you to make a big black check-mark on your forehead as you look down to see the fussy mess that just instantly replaced your smiling offspring.   It’s the words, moms.  Speak not the words.)

 

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Be, Briefly – a crazy, scared downer.

Everything just stops when he is sick.  I become a totally different person, and I don’t care.  I can’t laugh until I can make him laugh.  His tiny little well-being is all that matters to me.  Anyone who seems tobe attempting to pierce the little bubble I create to care for him is subject to the wrath of The Mom.  I never knew I could feel this fierce about anything, or quite this helpless.It is total “creature-in-the-wild,” protect-and-care-for-at-all-costs kind of stuff.  I know I feel this way when Potter is sick, but the no existent baby immune system thing pushes me right over the edge into crazy-mom territory.  I hope we are giggling together again soon, him and me.

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Be, Briefly – FB and Colorado snow

I have noticed  that FB posts regarding Colorado snow seem to fall into one of two categories:
1. “SNO-Mah Gah! Cancel everything and horde the TP and Booze! We are all going to die – why isn’t my school/work/daycare/life closed today!?”

2. “Come on Colorado peeps, it is just snow. BFD, If it even causes you a second thought before you go on about your life, you are UBER lame. I am going out to drive 75 on the highway now, so don’t get in my way, dummies!”

To me you can pretty much sniff out the CO natives by people whose thinking falls somewhere in between the two.  This is where the reasonable reaction lives.

Just sayin’.

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Eat, Briefly – Actual Grown Up Food

The Hub is out-of-town for work, and around the Tree House that means that meals fall into one of two categories – the first being fast food so horrifying that he won’t even touch it (what up, my beloved Big Mac?)  The second being “grown up food” filled with ingredients that cause him to turn into a 5-year-old in a 41 year old’s body, wrinkling his nose and saying things like “it’s touching my potatoes, IT’S TOUCHING MY POTATOES!!!”

Since Nana (or Maude, or my Mommy,) comes to stay with us when The Hub travels, I took the opportunity to share a “grown up food” meal with someone who will NOT react with screeching and complaining.

We had baked salmon with dill and lemon, and a spring mix salad (which The Hub refers to as “weeds,” as in “don’t put any weeds in my salad though!”)  I also got to add tomatoes and green onion and even (gasp) cucumber!!!

It was SO  good.

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Be Briefly – Pin-peeved

I admit I love me some Pinterest.  Being the interwebz obsesser that I am, it fits right in with my mentality and I took to it like a dog to a bone.  Pinning is the new black, as far as I am concerned.

That being said, I am developing what I think of as Pin-peeves. Things on Pinterest that just bug the heck out of me that people pin again and again. Two biggies so far are people who “tile” stuff with pennies (hi, that is actual money, people,) and “crafts” made by destroying books. (It hurts my English Lit Major soul.)

Am I the only one with Pin-peeves?

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Be – Briefly. In “Keri Hell”

I seem to have caught a stomach virus.  As in visiting The Big D, don’t-mean-Dallas.   Like “running for the loo at 3am in a flat panic thinking WTF?” kind of thing.  Turns out it is going around, it just isn’t really something anyone wants to be the first one to talk about – but if you let on that you don’t feel good, Friend A, B, and C are all going to whisper ‘oh yeah…  had that last week.  it was really, REALLY bad.”

No Bueno.

However, I have NOT lost my appetite.

I always joke that I am one stomach virus away from swimsuit weight – but people please, Keri loves her some food.

Hell on earth for Keri is a land in which delicious food is beyond-a-doubt going to make me horrifyingly ill.   I have been torturing myself on Pintrerest all morning – all look and no touch at so many delicious recipes and AH-MAY -ZING food photography.

Go away tummy bug.  I hate you super big time.

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Drink (briefly) – in honor of our trip to Golden

How long has it been since ya had one of these puppies?  I have to say, it was pretty darn refreshing.  🙂

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Be Keri, the “before and after” Junior ed.

This post from the ALWAYS hilarious Parenting in Crappy Pictures got me thinking about the many ways my everyday patterns were instantly and forever altered the moment Jr. made his grand entrance into our lives.

For instance:

Bathroom Breaks BC (Before Cooper): I realize I have to pee (which is often,) so I go.

Bathroom Breaks WJ (With Junior):  I realize I have to pee, but we are running late out the door to day care, so I hold it.  8 hours later I walk in the front door of day care to pick the kiddo up, see the bathroom and realize I have had to pee all day.  I decide to wait until we get home.  But then I start dinner, and……  At 10:30 pm, I pee while simultaneously brushing my teeth and washing my face.

Thoughts  on Sleep BC: “Ugh, I only got 5 hours of sleep last night, I am SO run down.  Zzzzzzzzzz.”

Thoughts on Sleep WJ: “I got 5 full hours of sleep last night!  AND by getting up at 5 am I got some great me time while making bottles and straightening up the living room!” (Ok, I am sleeping more than this most of the time now, but in the beginning I was just happy to get 2 consecutive hours, ANY TIME day or night.)

Personal Hygiene BC:  Ahhhh, nothing like a nice long soak in the tub with a good book and a glass of vino.

Personal Hygiene WJ: Ahhhhh, 10 full minutes in the shower all to myself….  with the baby monitor.

Encountering a poor driver BC:  Hmmm, that guy almost hit me, I will toot my horn, perhaps… or just mutter under my breath.

Encountering a poor driver WJ: Lean on horn (which my hand has been hovering above since I first eyed the offender’s semi-poor behavior,) and yell out the window “IF YOU HIT ME WITH MY KID IN THE CAR, I WILL END YOU!!!!”  (This needs to stop before Jr can repeat things.)

Big Friday Night BC:  Happy hour, followed by dinner some place where waiting for a table might be required, and then (depending on how motivated we felt,) to a bar or friends’ place for more merriment.

Big Friday Night WJ:  The Hub shakes up some martinis, I throw a pizza on the grill, and (depending on how motivated we feel,) we eat out on the patio. Falling asleep on the sofa may be involved.

Coffee Consumption BC:  1 cup, with a perfect amount of creamer, savored while watching the morning news.

Coffee Consumption WJ: 3 cups (or more,) pounded with one hand while other hand drives car, types, or answers phone calls at work.

 

But most important –

Amount of love in life BC:  Plenty

Amount of love in life WJ:  More than I ever knew was possible.  And then some.

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